poop

so, in the spirit of full disclosure of all facets of my life, let me share the lowlight of my day:

poop.

yes.

i said it.

poop.

during our math test today, a sweet (and very quiet) boy of mine had the urge for some number two. and instead of saying something, he decided to go for it. and 'it' somehow ended up all over the carpet in my classroom.

it was both disgusting and amazing - ick...but how did it get on the carpet?

anywho...i am tired and a little light-headed from the massive amount of chemical fumes poured on my floor to remedy the stink.

hope you all had a cleaner and better smelling tuesday than i did. :)

notes from the universe

after my dear friend amy mentioned receiving motivational e-mails from 'the universe', i figured i could use a little pick-me-up and a bit of positive thinking a few times a week. i signed up and, though some have been a little bit in left field, today's note gave me reason to pause.

Would you believe, Jill, that there is nothing about your life today, not even what hurts, that you won't eventually appreciate, with happy tears running down your face?
Nothing.
Chokes me up just thinking about it -
The Universe

lately, i have felt that my role as a teacher, as a wife, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend have all been lacking due this overwhelming feeling of...being sub-par. and, every day, i 'hurt' myself a little bit by focusing on what i wish i had done differently - how i could have been more patient with a struggling child in my class or showed my husband how much he means to me or taken a minute to share my day with a family member or grabbed my phone to tell a friend that i was thinking of them. by focusing on all the things i wished i could have done or wanted to do (but didn't), i am playing into this nagging thought that i need to be more, be better, be everything i want to be/feel i should be all at the same time.
while this may be no revelation to those reading, i am figuring out that i cannot be the perfect ___(insert label)___. try as i might, i am only setting myself up for little pin-pricks of daily 'hurt'. throughout the course of my day/life, there will be moments of 'hurt' caused by things completely outside of myself, so, until those uncontrollable moments come, why should i be a source of pain/unhappiness in my own life? instead of focusing on how disappointed i am that i wasn't the model image of patience/love/friendship, i should delight in what i actually do each day - both the good and the bad.
and maybe, as 'the universe' predicts, i will appreciate it down the road. :)

p.s. as i go back and read my 'note from the universe', i realize that this post took a bit of a detour and went down a slightly different path that doesn't so much correlate to the initial source of bloggie inspiration. so...maybe just read the note, take some positive thoughts from it and then read my post as a separate entity. :)

kiddos :)

i'm pooped...these little kiddos tire me out.
i am noticing more and more how funny it is that one kiddo can break my heart one minute(with a sigh of boredeom, a lack of effort or just general punkishness).
and then, in the very next breath, make me smile.
one kiddo made this very weary teacher smile and feel special.
this may sound totally shallow, but this child (who was making me a little crazy all day long) told me he liked my shoes and that i "looked like beautiful."
and then, his neighbor agreed and added that because i am beautiful, i am a special princess. :) i'm not sure of the logic of that argument...but i won't fight it.
hooray for kiddos who make a teacher with slept-on hair and an unfortunate growth on her chin feel a little special.
hope your days are full of happy and fun things. :)

refueled

i left work earlier than normal (yay!) to get ready to head out for the conference this weekend. and because i was running on empty, i decided to stop by starbucks for a little calorie-fest known as the grande white chocolate mocha. once home, i enjoyed my yummy treat and noticed the 'way i see it' quote on the side. i'm not usually one to notice 'signs' or things that parallel my life, but, lo and behold, my cup tapped into something i have been wrestling with (and trying to ignore) the last few days. it's silly...but the words on this cup (from the maker of the world's most awesome vacuum) gave me reason to pause and realize that my worry was unnecessary. i'm doing what i can and what i know...and that's all i can do for now. so, in the event that you need a little inspiration, maybe the quote below can do something for you, as well.

Some of the best inventive moments were born out of “wrong thinking.” Most people start with the right way so they all follow the same path. The wrong way will lead to mistakes from which you can learn and create new discoveries – the kind of original ideas that come to life when we dare to be different, keep an open mind and have no fear of failure.
-- James Dyson, Industrial designer and inventor of the Dyson vacuum.

happy friday and happy weekend! we're off to monterey! :)

reflections :)

even though the last week has been a little busier than normal and chock full of distractions, i made a conscious decision to end each day with some reflection on something i enjoyed, learned or was challenged by. in the spirit of new directions, i wanted to share about the last few days. i intended to post these every night...but didn't...so here is a whole post full of goodness. :)

friday: being lame with my husband and, instead of being social, curling up at home with some yummy mac'n'cheese and watching the rest of season two of 'the office'.

saturday: a trip to costco where we split some pizza and a hot dog and some delicious 55 cent soda, followed by delicious free samples and some wandering around looking at all the things that we like.

sunday: enjoying a lovely visit from my parents which included going to church (surprised they wanted to go, but glad nonetheless), walking around downtown san jose and then eating a yummy lunch. it's always a treat to see them. :)

monday: finding the delicious haribo gummy bears (which i thought i'd lost) in the back of my car - and eating them one-by-one (and saving the pineapple ones 'til last) after school while i did my teacher thing.

tuesday: trading silly ways to say 'i love you' via e-mail with my husband. [backstory: it amuses me to say things that rhyme with that phrase, such as 'grub shoe' - complete with hyperlinks to pictures of the words used. welcome to a snapshot of our relationship. weird? maybe. but i love it. :)]

wednesday: after a thought-provoking staff meeting on tuesday, i wanted to make a conscious effort to really show my students how much i appreciate their effort and hard work. starting wednesday, i was a little 'over-the-top' with the kudos, but it made such a difference. who knew the phrase '________ is on fire' would motivate them so much. and it doesn't hurt that it also makes them laugh. good times in first grade. :)

thursday (today): great conversation with a co-worker this afternoon. we haven't talked much for whatever reason (too busy?), but today we were able to share some school-related things that we're both working through. it was nice to get her perspective and it also opened up the lines of communications in the future.

the week is almost over (yay!) and i am so glad to have a three-day weekend ahead of me. i know i just got back from vacation...but getting bak in the swing of things is tiring. matt and i get a mini-break to the montery area this weekend. the reason for the visit is a reading conference my principal is sending me to, but after the last seminar at 3:00, i have a saturday afternoon free to spend with my favorite guy in one of my favorite places.

hope your weekends are wonderful and relaxing...and hopefully three days long, too! :)

redirection

i've tried to sit down and write umpteen times over the last few days. i feel like i should update and share what's been going on in our little world.

but every time i start typing, my mind is taken over by the lives of other people i have met (in real life and blog life) and the real struggles they are going through. one woman gave birth to and lost a son on christmas day. another woman lost her father after a battle with illness and chronic pain. and yet another is watching her son basically fight for his life. these women (and those connected to them) are dealing with real, painful, uncontrollable things. where do i get off complaining about matt, family, my students, my job, and everything else i could find issue with?

when i consider the things that i complain/worry about on this blog, i realize that i have it pretty darn good. is it bad that the struggles of others helps me to recognize that i could have it so much worse? it probably is...so don't answer that, blog reader(s). :)

i guess the point of this post is that i want to redirect what this blog is and why i have it. i don't want it to be a blend of complaints, updates and memes. for the lovely few that read this, i want to post about things that brought my joy, that made me laugh, and that made me think.

these past few days have just reminded me that my life is so blessed. and i should try my best to be a blessing and a light to those that i come into contact with, instead of a dark cloud.

hope all is swell in your worlds.